Internal Organ Fannypack! Massive Head Trauma!
As some of you may know, several months ago I began work at a highly-regarded prep school here in California. After three years of post-college scrabbling at clerical and retail jobs that locked me into what was essentially the same task, repeated over and over again, for hours at a time, I leaped at the chance to be someplace where thinking and variety of activity were valued. Or where at least I have the chance to get up and STOP SITTING every once in a while. Here, I am surrounded by highly-educated thinkers, super-multitaskers and creative folks who really care about education.
Yes, it’s GREAT here. So much BRAIN power arcing around.
And what do we CARE about, here at Prep? What do we do with our massive craniums whilst working behind the scenes, preparing for our next class or project? What do we talk about at lunch?
ZOMBIES.
Ever so important. Yes, I walked into the lunchroom the other day, and ZOMBIES were THE topic of conversation.
How does one best get away from a zombie? What DRIVES the zombie? Why is it that our fear of them is so compelling? What is it, in particular, that makes the zombie so very terrifying?
I do not share this terror. I am greatly confused. Here I was, lunching with at least four of my elder co-workers, and THIS was what kept us talking until after the bell rang for the next period?
“They keep coming at you even if you blow their limbs off!”
“You can’t reason with them!”
“They’re just so PRIMAL and GROSS!”
“Yes, it’s the basic, unstoppable HUNGER that scares the crap out of me”
I am mystified! I am the most timid of the timid when it comes to burglars, rapists, road-ragers…yet I do NOT understand this zombie phobia. People have really thought this stuff out! I’ve now had at least two people (one of them being my boyfriend) tell me that they survey potential workplaces and housing for zombie-proof-ness before entering. Ground-level windows are a bad thing. So are glass doors. Concrete and sawed-off shotguns? Good things.
Things about which I simply don’t think in my off hours. “Off hours” being “when I’m not actively watching a zombie movie”.
Some people plan their dream homes around this!
Should I be worried? How many of you out there worry about zombies like these people?
Come on, I mean, zombies can’t climb or jump very well (“No, but when enough of them pile up against a wall…”), they can’t catch a speeding car (“No, but if enough of them pile up in the road…”), I don’t think they can swim (“…”), and they sure aren’t plotting a sneaky ambush, what with all that groaning and stinking. What’s to fear?
I suppose, perhaps, that they’re after people like us. Because of our massive craniums and all the tasty brains to be had. Maybe it is appropriate for us to discuss this over lunch.
But if anyone asks, we were talking about Venn diagrams and Tangrams.
