Things for which I have very little patience
-reading the newspaper on windy days
-people who can’t (or don’t) turn into the nearest lane on a right (or left) turn
-gnats
-Thomas Kinkaid
-thong underwear
-“shorts” that might as well be thong underwear
-those trendy skirts that look like this:
or rather, this:
-sunglasses that fall off your face when you lean forward
-sunglasses that tear out your hair when you take them off your head
-people who don’t pull over when emergency vehicles go by
-Anne Geddes photos
-customers who walk into my store talking on their cell phones but still expect me to attend to them
-customers who call me from cell phones and ask important, hurried questions when they have a really bad signal
-people who call themselves punk but hold other people to their own standard of dress
-musicals
-smokers
-men who holler at runners
-having long hair while riding in convertibles
-women who talk about calories
-women who are anti-choice
-beer “conoisseurs”
-shoes with really pointy toes, the ones like this:
-trying to stop on Rollerblades
-those little bits of hair that just won’t go back into a ponytail
-people who don’t use their turn signals
-TV commercials
-TV “news”
-advertising of any sort
-people in the art community who don’t actually draw/shoot/paint/print/assemble anything, but just hang out at openings.
-vanity dogs
-grass fleas
-Fundamentalist Christians
-American yogurt
-people who knock public transportation without trying it
-Friends (yes, I mean the TV show. Or I mean you, too, if you model your behavior on it)
-people who don’t trim their toenails in Tae Kwon Do
-processed chicken
-tattoos of butterflies, dolphins, angels, your baby’s face, asian ideograms, anyone’s name, or swastikas, especially on your lower back.
-running through spiderwebs in the morning
-cilantro
-knife collections
-hipsters
-potheads
-wading through ivy beds
-barbecue sauce
-people who don’t spay or neuter their pets
